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Teenagers have a lot to deal with these days. It seems
like every time you turn around, there's another problem to face - school
problems, parent problems, boyfriend and girlfriend problems, weight
problems, zits, bad hair days, etc.
Unfortunately, problems are not restricted to teenagers. Everybody has
problems: old people, young people; rich people, poor people; smart people
and people who are not quite as smart as smart people.
Problems are a part of life, and they are not something you can avoid.
They must be dealt with, and your ability to deal with them is a big part
of being successful and happy.
As I started to write this chapter, I wasn't sure I knew all of the
answers about dealing with problems, so I started looking for advice. I
didn't have to look far. My next-door neighbor, Patrick Lloyd, explained
that everyone learns to deal with problems in their own way. He told me
that he learned this when he was 23. Patrick had just finished college on a
baseball scholarship and had a chance to play in the major leagues. He
loved to play baseball and he loved to party. He only partied occasionally,
though - like seven nights a week.
It could have been any night, but it just happened to be a Monday.
Patrick and four of his friends headed out to party at 10 p.m. By midnight,
they were all loaded. If you could smoke it, drink it or snort it, they had
done it. Just after midnight, Patrick's car came around a sharp curve. The
speed limit sign on that curve read 35 mph. The speedometer in Patrick's
car read 70 mph. Nobody saw the curve and nobody saw the sign. The driver
was no help. What they needed was a pilot. Their car flew 50 feet as it
sailed off an inclined driveway and into the air.
As you know, what goes up, must come down. Fortunately, their car landed
in the middle of a soft, grassy backyard. Unfortunately, there was a large
concrete slab in the middle of the backyard. Two of Patrick's best friends
were in the front seat. They aren't his friends anymore. They were both
killed on impact.
Patrick and his two friends in the back seat survived the crash. Patrick
woke up in a hospital two hours later with his mother at his side. When he
woke up, he heard one of his friends screaming hysterically in the next
room. He wanted to walk over and check on his friend, but it wasn't meant
to be. The three friends who survived the crash left the hospital with one
thing in common - wheelchairs. All three were paralyzed and might never
walk again.
The point of this story is not that Patrick and his friends went out and
got loaded, or that the result of their party was two funerals and three
wheelchairs. The point of the story is that my friend Patrick has been
faced with a challenge that is far more difficult than any challenge most
of us will probably ever face. So when Patrick was telling me how to deal
with problems and bad days, I listened very carefully.
Patrick says, "In order to deal with your worst days and your biggest
problems, you need to do two things. First, keep your problems in
perspective and remember that they could always be worse - much worse."
Second, Patrick says, "Become aware of others who are less fortunate than
you. Become aware of others who have bigger problems than yours." But more
important, Patrick says, "You must act on that awareness. You must go out
into your community and do something for others who are less fortunate than
you."
Sometimes we don't realize how good we have it. We forget that everybody
has good days and bad days. If we didn't have the bad days, maybe the good
days wouldn't seem so good.
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